UNRESOLVED STRESS
Unresolved stress leads to road rage, work rage, domestic abuse (verbal and physical) and frustration. The overload of this stress is the direct problem.
In most cases, where the anger is directed is not the true source of the problem. For example:
I CALL THIS "THE TOE-NAIL SYNDROME"
A couple are laying in bed at night. By accident (he or she) brushes her toe nail on the leg of her partner. Her partner lunges up in bed and starts screaming and using profanitydirected towards her. He's blaming her for his unhappiness at work and general frustration with his life. She is stunned! What has she done to create such "rage" in her partner. Surely, it cannot be just a scratch from her toe nail?
The truth is that he has displaced (missplaced) his unresolved anger and unhappiness and placed it in a toe nail. He is on overload and just like a pressure cooker.....he had to let off stream.
Anger is a learned response and can be unlearned and relearned through education, awareness, association and practice.
KAREN GOLOB, CCDC, CH
CERTIFIED ANGER MANAGEMENT COUNSELOR
CERTIFIED CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY COUNSELOR
310-276-1342
COACHELLA VALLEY AREAS, CALIFORNIA
kKARk
posted by Karen Golob, Anger Management Services at 5:13 PM
1 Comments:
Have you ever gone into a market, dept. store or any place where you need service and the person who is at the cash register doesn't acknowledge you? By that I mean...doesn't look at you...say hello...thank you...or respond to your thank you with..."your welcome"? The person doesn't smile; and, you can tell from their body language that it's hostile.
What is your response? Do you pick up their angry/cold attitude and then become a mirror image of their behavior? Do you then pass that hostility on to others?
Well, STOP and think about how this affects those you meet through out your the rest of your day. Angry people can weild personal power over others without really trying.
So, how can you not perpetuate this anger/hostility on to others? Recognize that something that occured in their personal life (days, weeks, years)ago, is unresolved and really has nothing to do with being "angry". Remember that anger is a secondary emotion, and that another feeling came first. When you understand that, perhaps you can block what you experience and not internalize it. That person is just carrying around Unresolved feelings that have nothing to do with you.
9:45 AM
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